p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
