we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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