smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
