dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
