She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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