I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
