White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
did you just send me my own nude
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
