i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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