i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
