Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
