"it" just moved
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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