My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
