the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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