I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
