home. puking in laundry basket.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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