rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
