No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize