Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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