It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm always down for nudity.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
