K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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