Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
