I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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