Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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