Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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