I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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