Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
