dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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