At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize