this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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