I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
