dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
