why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
no you cant smoke seaweed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
