Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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