Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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