Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
