She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
