What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
