The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize