Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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