There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize