Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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