The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
