Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
