I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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