Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need water and some morals
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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