He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
