Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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