if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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