When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
