So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
