You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
