I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
