you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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